After a long 14-hour day at the office I’d had it. I felt like I was coming down with a cold. Although the extra hours allowed me to submit the proposal I didn’t feel good about missing dinner with my family—something that is a recurring theme these days.
So many thoughts raced through my mind—guilt, frustration, desperation for something to change. I even felt regret for posting on Linked-In out of concern for someone in my group thinking that I didn’t have the “work ethic” to get things done. Discipline and work ethic are the most important things to me in my personal life and professional—and this moment challenged what I knew for sure about myself.
A few days later, I learned that I had a bad cold and in fact needed medication—this put everything into perspective and explained some of my frustration being physically exhausted, but not all. I still had this nagging feeling that my priorities weren’t where they need to be.
A wise woman once told me “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” And fate allowed her to call me amid my search for truth and peace. We went through the usual pleasantries of “it’s been a while” and “good to hear your voice,” but quickly shifted to “I read your post the other day….” I sensed the tone of objection in her voice, but the student that I am, I remained quiet, picked up my note pad, and pen. I’ve been here before.
“You’re either a manager or a builder.” She began to share that in life, these two types of people dictate the lane you occupy. It’s not about aspiration—which one would you like to be? But it’s about being—which one are you? While tempted to blurt out “manager,” as I am a manager of hr, the student in me told me to put my hand down. When challenges come, it’s God showing you a new direction—open your ears and your eyes. You will see the patterns and understand how to move towards peace and answer the question.
“You can’t serve development and negativity." You can’t serve two masters. "You can’t serve progress and what’s behind you.” How can I say that I’m moving towards balancing work and home, managing my health, and I’m doing the exact opposite?
At some point, our words and deeds should match.
Are you managing or are you building? A completely different question, this one’s more of a call to action.
This week, through my personal development work with the Giftedness Center in Dallas, I learned that I am a builder—from day one. This result is consistent with the number one trait in my StrenghtsFinder 2.0 results; Activator.
May you have more questions than answers and may the moments of frustration lead you to revelation and action.